The wedding is just a distant memory and you've got yourself a brand-new spouse. Here are 13 things about your better half that no one ever bothers telling you.
1. The rest of your life will be spent refilling things the other person uses. Deal with it.
If you ever come to my house and I offer you a drink and there’s no ice it’s because my husband does things like this #husbandfail #onecube pic.twitter.com/3BjueKUzfw
— Alexandra Wilson (@iamalexandraw) January 10, 2020
2. One spouse will be inherently better at loading the dishwasher.
I seriously think my husband @berglundb1028 intentionally loads the dishwasher the wrong way so he eventually won’t ever be asked to help with dishes! #husbandfail #domesticfail #mykidsloaditbetter #hesgoodatpowerwashing #istillloveyoubabe pic.twitter.com/OT1yMmk0Op
— Carmen Berglund (@BerglundCarmen) November 29, 2018
3. You will hardly ever BOTH wake up in a good mood.
Having a guilt ridden flashback to this morning when my wonderful husband was being so nice and sweet to me. #wifefail #lifefail #ihatemornings pic.twitter.com/s2UUqTprRh
— Jennifer Storie (@JenStorie2) March 30, 2018
4. "The flu" can mean very different things, depending on who's got it.
Hey guys.... my husband is dying of the man flu. Dun dun dun
— Heather 🦈 doo do doo do doo do doo do (@dishs_up) October 16, 2017
Meanwhile the kids and I have a slight cold #manflu #parenting #wifefail pic.twitter.com/XtRr81tg77
5. Sometimes they just say the wrong things.
#husbandandwife #husbandgoals 😁 pic.twitter.com/vWdV9tf1U3
— RT Rajaa (@RTRajaa) January 11, 2020
6. They have the most random jokes.
How @erichamme puts away leftovers...saw this in the refrigerator this morning 😆 #funnyhusband pic.twitter.com/O9nhFGrX8D
— Elizabeth Kay (@ElizabethKayFM) October 16, 2018
7. They have no respect for the perfect selfie.
When you wana take a selfie with your hubby this is his good lookin side lol #FunnyHusband#selfie #BeingWeirdTogerher pic.twitter.com/RqHG6wlSTI
— Amoré Liversage (@AmoreLiversage) January 16, 2015
8. They do the weirdest things sometimes.
Opened the fridge door and laughed until I cried @TiaRanni_ #funnywife pic.twitter.com/rkgjfSWh37
— HALIFAX REALTOR (@HalifaxRealtor_) June 2, 2014
9. Embarassing one another in public becomes a hobby.
About to go pick up my wife while wearing a horse head to embarrass her. #BestHusband or #WorstHusband ? pic.twitter.com/mA8bnf7KGs
— APirate⁉️Japan - #Iceborne (@APirateInJapan) August 24, 2016
10. The niceties will soon fly out the window.
Thing I just texted my husband, the love of my life. #worstwife pic.twitter.com/TkjGQSj7bV
— J. Margot (100% that) Critch (@jmargotcritch) June 18, 2016
11. You'll need the biggest blankets you can find to keep the peace.
You think marriage is all about sharing. Until it comes down to the last piece of bacon or blankets on a cold night. #MarriageReality #reality #keepingitreal pic.twitter.com/CN8i32868C
— ᒍOᖇᒪE᙭ (@jorlex) July 30, 2018
12. "Quiet" is a relative term.
Just the way it is boys...#marriage #marriagereality pic.twitter.com/gzcwAE0Bsh
— Stefano Marrone (@Stefano_M84) October 29, 2017
13. One person will be better at keeping score.
Turns out my lovely husband bought some mini-Easter eggs... My reaction?
— Ruth Clemence (@ruth_the_writer) January 15, 2019
"Don't ever moan at me again for buying mince pies in September when you buy Easter eggs in January." #realmarriage #thesmallthings pic.twitter.com/u8cB1apMto
Is anything missing from this list? Let us know in the comments!